4th Week Entry!
Tuesday, August 22
Yeah!! Well, this week our supreme diva organizer (matilah meks kipas habis-habisan kan!!) did something that I can classified as unpredictable by published the ranking of all of the contestants based on the jury's marks (but take note, the marks is not being published , just the ranking duh!). Hiks! And yeah again!!! I'm at the top, no 1, (seriously meks tolak puki sekeping and also jejants yer!!) but kaedahnya tetap la vote meks tidak mencukupi so that I stay on the top of all kan!! But 3rd placing ok la tue! hiks!
And this week, that's it!!! Topic die, (sat nah! meks paste!!)
"BI2006 - Week 4 Assignment :Ibubapa penentu kerjaya dan masa depan anak² - Perlukah amalan dahulu kala ini diteruskan? Atau, peluang harus diberikan kepada anak² untuk membuat keputusan memilih kerjaya serta mencorakkan masa depannya sendiri?"
(Lady LeaLaurielle, adakah anda tidak mampu untuk mengarang soalan yang lebih panjang? hiks!!) HAMIK KO!!! Adakah ini soalan ataupung jawapan itself? Hiks! Now, here is my answer for this question nah!! (matilah another PhD entry katanya!!)
1.0 : Definition
What is the real meaning of the word parent? According to Webster, a parent is: "A father or a mother; he or she that produces young". If we use Webster's definition, anyone can be a parent, and be a good one, just by bringing forth offspring. But there is far more to parenting than that. Personally I believed, first, it consists of unconditional love, another term that Webster was unable to define accurately: it is the most important element of parenting, and yet, has no concrete meaning. Second, it consists of becoming quite selfless. A baby takes priority in your life, the feedings, changes, rocking, singing, playing, nurturing, teaching.
2.0 : THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE
From the wording in the question and also the notes wrote by our organizer in the official blog for this competition, obviously the main issue that should be discuss in this particular motion is that "What make a parent have the right to control the life of their children" in order to understand the nature and also to deepen our knowledge about the root of the question. And infact, it is crucial for us whether the parent themselves have the right to control, to breach the privacy and the fundamental liberties of their children at the first place.
Regarding this particular level of issue, I believed that parent do have the right to control their children in certain cases, expecially those involving immoral activites or better known as the 'parental responsibilities' in the western countries. The pharse 'parental responsibility' had been defined differently in different contexts, but however, it usually being refer to legal mandate given to anyone biologically connected to a child hold permanent responsibility for, or has a voice in, decision about the welfare of the child. I repeat the most important word or phrase in this part of introduction, "Permanent Responsibility or Has a Voice". (let cut everything short, let me just tell all of your readers especially the juries the reason with a brief explanation based on levels). But before hand, let me state the status-quo of this issue in the western countries, right now, this particular moment, Britain, part of American states, Canada provinces, as well as Australia had enacted legislation related to parental responsibility, while the Euro Union already drafted and developed statements and model laws relating to the children's human right throughout the Union. And I, Isis Natasha could not agree more with this act due to levels.
2.1 : FIRST LEVEL - SOCIAL PERCEPTION.
In May 2005, the case of Ayotte V. Planned Parenthood had rose an educational debate on parent consent regarding child abortion, "Does the parents have the right to participate in major medical and moral decision affecting their children?". Due to this phonomenon, the USATODAY, CNN and Gallup held a poll reagrding this isue and at the end of the first week, 69% of the citizens favored requiring minors to get parental consent. The poll rountinely show that 75% - 80% favor parental notice. This result had been a proof to us that the majority of the society believes that parent hold a permanent responsibility or at least a voice in decision about the welfare of the children.
2.2 : SECOND LEVEL - NO ABSOLUTE RIGHT
Many would argue that if the parent hold permanent responsibilty or has a voice in the decision about the welfare of their children, then this would breach the human right of the children on top of the privacy of their love ones. But however, we have to understand the nature of the law itself. Every single rights and law enacted by an independent legistaltion body in all government in the world are due to certain limitations.In fact we can see, in Malaysia Federal Constituion where it uphold the fundamental liberties of every single Malaysian in the Article 5 to Article 13, it is due to certain limitation. We can see the Malaysia Federal Constitution provides for freedom of religion as stated in Article 11; however, the Government places some restrictions on this right. Islam is the official religion; however, the practice of Islamic beliefs other than Sunni Islam is restricted significantly. At the end of the day, we would be questioning ourselves, if an important right such as a fundamental liberty of a citizen are due to be restricted by limitations, do we have to say more for privacy of a children?
2.3 : THIRD LEVEL - UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
A normal parent believes that the welfare of your children is the most important thing, and even greater than your own life. And infact, believe it or not, parent in the rural areas would rather starve for days just to make sure the children eat and be healthy. Parent would working continuously, without holiday or restday just to make sure their children have enough money to go to school and further studies. And in fact, a NORMAL parent with a sane working brain would rather be dead, replace their dead children during the tsunami 2006. This few situations are proof that a NORMAL parent, (put aside those problematic parents - drug addicts, alcoholic, abussive parents, father who believes in domestic violents, incest rapist, to name a few) would definitely treat their children as 'menatang minyak yang penuh'. And the maojority of the society believed that this unconditional love is the root of the success, health well being of a children in the future, which would be explain on the fourth level of the reason why parent hold permanent responsibility or at least has a voice in decision regarding welfare of the children. Despite being the major factor to the social perception and believes that the parent hold such right, does it give the parent to have a right to be permanent attached and hold permanent responsibility under the eye of law?
2.4 : FOURTH LEVEL - LEGAL VIEWS
Under the eyes of law in Malaysia and most of constitution, (written or unwritten constituions) as long as a person who being recognised by the United Nation as a human being and people of the world, is under the age of majority (which are differ based on the country's particular Age of Majority Act), he or she is considered as a minor, not as an adult. The phrase "Age of Majority" is defined as the age at which one acquires the full legal rights of an adult. This commonly includes things such as the right to vote and the ability to enter into binding contracts. The age is normally fixed by law, though in some cases a minor may reach majority through an emancipation procedure ( but that would be a different story!). Aa a minor, when he or she is not legal to enter a contract (as the contract would be turn out as a void contract), he or she is not entitled to have a license, drink alcoholic, buy a cigarette, watching porns, vote and the list would go on and on. And if a minor or aperson who is under the age of majority (for Malaysia it is 21 years old, same goes to Argentine, Singapore and some states of the States) who being sued legally (except for crime - we have juevenille court tho~), the particular minor would be sued through the next kin, usually the parent of the guardian. This would also proof to us that parent do have the right of permanent responsibility to the children.
3.0 : THE ISSUE - 'KERJAYA DAN MASA DEPAN'
For this part of the entry I would express my views and personal opinion s based on the research done by me regarding the roots of the issue (2.0 till 2.4). As a reasonable person, I would rather wrote on both side, even tho I am extremely agreed that parent do hold a voice in decision. This act of mine is really crucial since to let the readers understand the nature and also to let the world to knew the issue from both side before making any judgement. Since judgement made with the knowledge from both side is better than being a stupid bull, "ikut sahaja apa yang dikatakan oleh orang ramai tanpa sebarang usul periksa". Take note of the wording used, "Hold a voice in decision" rather than "permanent responsibility". Well, personally i believed that the phrase "permanent responsibility" is kinda harsh towards the children and also towards the parents. For me the phrase "to have a voice in decision" would give a win - win situation to both parties. We can define that the parent have the right to give advise to children and the children themselve have the right to accept the advise totally, or adjust the advise to suit their life or even totally reject the advise at the first place. What is the reason behind this belief of mine?
3.1 : TIME FRAME
As we can see that most of the parent and children do not share the same time frame and time period. And time is something that is totally unpredictable and it change drastically. To proof it, let go back to the late 19th century. During those days, women who stay out after maghrib prayers are considered as whore and unacceptable by the norm of malays society. Same goes to women who believe in they can hold a higher post in the sociarty political hierachy, side by side with men. and then, in 1928, only about 30+ years apart, Tan Sri Kontek Kamariah emerged as the first Malay women to pass Senior Cambrigde Examination and the list of the first ladies in Malaysia history keep adding and we can see todat, after 100 years, women sit side by side with the men in the cabinet, term of ladyboss exist, some husband afraid of their wives.
This historical data had proof to us that time period of certain generation can be extremely different. It is hard to find a parent who share the same period of time with her of his children. Our parent whould be idolising Grace Kelly's act on the screen while we idolising Pussycat Dolls sexy dance move and our children would said all of this is crap. Do we wear the 1960's fashion to the extreme as what they are exactly wearing in those days? Do we actually wear those tight cut pants with a capital T shape fly? NO! We do't! But instead we intepret those fashion sens to suit our modern fashionista' philosphy. We can see tody, teenagers wear retro motives print shirt with a modern cut pants - and this obviously would be acceptable than being a fashion victim as in you are actually trapped in time.
Try to understand what I'm trying to say and relate it to the my personal opinion, "to have a voice in decision" - the children themselve have the right to accept the advise totally, or adjust the advise to suit their life or even totally reject the advise at the first place. The same priciple had being applied to the fashion thinggy situation. hiks!
Try to understand what I'm trying to say and relate it to the my personal opinion, "to have a voice in decision" - the children themselve have the right to accept the advise totally, or adjust the advise to suit their life or even totally reject the advise at the first place. The same priciple had being applied to the fashion thinggy situation. hiks!
3.2 : Personal Identity
If parent have a permanent responsibility in decision realting the welfare of the children i.e kerjaya dan masa depan, then obviously the parent would guide the children from the begining to take a path as they do. We can see there are thousands of parent who works as a doctor want their children to be a doctor. And believes me, it is not only happen in our society. It also happen to the so called modern democratic society who uphold the freedom of speech and fight for human rights of children i.e the Americans. Most of the fathers who are in sorority bortherhood, would guide their sons to entered the same brotherhood and lead almost the same life as they did. Logically, does this would create a clon based society instead of various personal identity that obviously coloured the society? And as a normal person and a person who believes in happiness, do we want to be around of clons and surrender the chance to know other kind of personality? Yes even though that we can learn other personality from the society i.e members of other family, but would it be better to understand the various personality in our family first? But how can it be a reality if most of the children id being guided to do the same path as their parent had been doing? Such nightmare! And in fact, would it be better if as a parent of 6 wonderful succesful children to have an accountant, lawyer, doctor, lecturer and other professional in line?
3.3 : SMOTHER LOVE!
Another reason why parent would only entitled to have a voice in decision is to prevent Smother Love to spread even worst in our society. According to Joanne Wane, free lance writer in her article publised in Sunday Star, Smother Love is define as coddled-kid syndrome, parental neurosis. Even though today’s children have the universe at their fingertips thanks to the Internet, their physical boundaries are shrinking at a rapid pace. According to British social scientist Mayer Hillman, a child’s play zone has contracted so radically that we’re producing the human equivalent of henhouse chickens—plump from lack of exercise and without the resilience and initiative of free-range kids of the past. The zeitgeist of our times is no longer the resourceful adventurer Tom Sawyer but rather the angst-ridden dad and his stifled only child in Finding Nemo. In short, child rearing has become an exercise in risk minimization, epitomized by stories such as the father who refused to allow his daughter on a school picnic to the beach for fear she might drown. While it’s natural for a parent to want to protect their children from danger, you have to wonder: Have we gone too far? Well obviously it is depends. It is acceptable by a natural mind if the smother love is being practiced by a parent to a 10 month old baby, but to a 20 year old girl on her decision to which university she would like to enter or which field of study she want to be in? OBVIOUSLY NOPE! As i repeat, advise from parents really helps, but direct instruction is totally a dictatorship! Through history, we already laernt that dictorship only result riots, 'rampasan kuasa uols!' and other type of actions that would leve to grive and sadness. In family term, whihc would be a smaller unit than a dictatorship country, would it create a rebelious children and at the end of the day, not only the parents will not be witness to their dream as they had been planned for the children since the first moment they knew the mother is pregnant, they also jeopardize the children and all of the dream would perished just like that.
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As a citizen of the world, as a person who believes in democracy, as a person who uphold the fundamental liberties of a Malaysian, i believes that parent have a right to voice out their concern and give advice to their chirldren regarding their welfare i.e kerjaya dan masa depan. But at the end of the day, it is in the hand of the children to create their own path. It is better for the parent as well. A parent would be in their most exciting momento or I would say, they would on top of their own mountain when their babies can finally walk on their own feet during the papmpers-era and certainly they would be in the same mode of feeling when they witness their grown up children to enjoy and being on the top of their children mountain, which they hike using their own path with any help. Last but not least, let me quote a script from the movie "More Than Meet An Eye", a person who walk in the darknes, he or she have to light up the light by themselves.
This entry is specialy dedicated to my parent whp always let me to create my pwn path in life. Daddy and Mummy, I love you so much.
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posted by Isis Natasha @ 01:38
