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Welcome

Give Me Your Hands, Let Me Guide You Along This Wonderful Journey Towards Serenity With Moi, Isis Natasha

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Once I lived in a castle made by italian marble, with thousands of maid to pamper me for every my needs, surrounded by enchanted forest with picturesque gardens and great lakes, under the protection of the great white clouds, decorated with flocks of virgin white pigeons. But those were the days and today I've changed. And this blog is a proof. And these entries are all about me : My Past, The Present and My Future.


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Previous Experience - Change Me All Around
Sunday, October 1
this entry is not meant to hurt anyone or anything, this is just a confession og my heart.

It has been a year from that tragedy. I used to like this one fella, who is also a ym-goers. What should we asked more, he is kinda cute, in my eyes, stabil financially, good job, a car and a caring heart. He is kinda of a brother to me at first, but as we get closer and know each other personality, the friendship blooms into love. but at the end, it tun out, it was only my feelings and all of sudden all those fantasy became a reality. he didn't choose me but a good friend of mine. i never blame them, i wish them to be happy at that moment.

but this past experienece really make me to feel fear of love. afraid to love a person. afraid to be in love. made me phobia for love. im afraid to have feeling and i wish i was a manneuin, stood up gracefully but no soul. no need to worries and no need to weep at night.

but in the end, at the bottom of my heart, deep deep inside, i knew no one can survive this life without any campanion, like a wise man said before, "No Man Is An Island".

And i do believe on the phrase, "Life is just like a Circle". i cried for days when the love triangle situation happen, and i dont want to lose this chance again. but it is indeed a long way full of torns and demon hands. i knew, all these thing will happen and will keep repeating happen to me.

in order to win the king's heart, against thousand of eligible ladies in the court, i will keep strong and head up. but i also knew that i have to prepare for the worst part. and i realise, i will never be able to handle it.

it has been a very long sinc emy last cry. it has been a year. yes that it. a year. the last one is when the confession regarding the love triangle thinggy thing. and after that, i suck it all up. and i knew, this dam had reach it limit. and it will explode once again, and the ugly cry will burst out.

I'm confuse. I'm confuse. I'm confuse. Confuse of everything.

what im wearing is just a masked. a masked that hid the sorrow. a mask that hid the hideous creature. a mask that hid the timid creature away. a mask that project the image of a strong, bold, cheerful and alive perosn. a script been written by the puppetmaster. laughter being recored earlier. but at the end, it was me, only me who know everyt single gossip inside my heart.

only me, yes only me.

Regards with love,

posted by Isis Natasha @ 03:08